A fun collection of horse puns to use when you’re just horsing around with your neigh-bours…
- Horsing around– Mischievous little horses like horsing around.
- You sound a little horse.
- Ferraris run on horse-power.
- Watch that horse language! (coarse)
- G-Horse – The pull of horses on you.
- The little pony dreamt of joining the Air Horse one day.
- Before telephones, horses used horse code.
- Swimming horses are sea-horses.
- Horses often like some playful canter.
- How colt is that?
- I like my water ice colt.
- The band Foals has a real colt following.
- Horses are experts in their field.
- I field you…
- I’m fieldin’ good!
- Don’t do anything foal-ish.
- Quit foal-ing around!
- Little horses keep using foal language!
- You’re foal of nonsense.
- I’ve eaten too much, I’m foal.
- I can foal it in my bones.
- Oh, hay there!
- Chardon-hay – A horse’s go-to wine.
- Get ready for the mane event of tonight!
- He’s the mane man.
- Mare-y Christmas!
- Night-mare – Girl horses that come out at night.
- Horse puns, yay or neigh?
- Watch me whip, watch me neigh neigh.
- Adam and Eve were both neigh-kid.
- Howdy, neigh-bour!
- It’s way pasture bedtime.
- You’re a fake horse, a pony! (phony)
- Why so sad-dle?
- Hairy Trotter – You’re a wizard, Hairy!
- When were you barn?
- Horses are always financially stable.
- S-table tennis – A horse’s favorite sport.
- To be or not to be. That’s the equestrian.
- Besides ketchup, I also hate mayo-neighs.
- Hot-Trot – A cool ride owned by a horse
- You’re late! Better hoof it!
- In the spur of the moment.
- It’s almost 2AM. Time to hit the hay.
- Have you ever met herbivore?
- Captain Mane was part of the Neigh-vy.
- Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
- A horse doesn’t care how much you know until he knows how much you care.
- I’ve often said there is nothing better for the inside of the man, than the outside of the horse.
- Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.
- I’d rather ride on a Mustang, than in one.
- Horses lend us the wings we lack.
- One can get in a car and see what man has made. One must get on a horse to see what God has made.
Q: Where do horses go when they’re sick?
A: The horse-pital.
Q: What’s black and white and eats like a horse?
A: A zebra.
Q: What street do horses live on?
A: Mane St.
Q: When do vampires watch horse racing?
A: When it’s neck and neck.
Q: What does a horse say when you don’t give them enough hey?
A: Neigh.
Q: What did the Momma say to the foal?
A: Its pasture your bedtime
Q: What did the waiter say to the horse?
A: I can’t take your order. That’s not my stable.
Q: What’s the quickest way to mail a little horse?
A: Use the Pony Express.
Q: What did one horse say to the other horse?
A: The pace is familiar but I can’t remember the mane.
Q: How do you make a small fortune breeding horses?
A: Start with a large fortune.
Q: What do you get if you cross a horse with a bee?
A: Neigh buzz.
Q: Why did the pony have to gargle?
A: Because it was a little horse!
Q: What did the horse say when it fell?
A: I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
Q: What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class?
A: Why the long face?
Q: What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A: A neigh-bour!
Q: What’s the best way to lead a horse to water?
A: With lots of apples and carrots!
Q: What was the horse sneezing?
A: Hay fever!
Q: How long should a horse’s legs be?
A: Long enough to reach the ground.
Q: Which side of the horse has the most hair?
A: The outside!
Q: Why did the man stand behind the horse?
A: He was hoping to get a kick out of it
Q: What do race horses eat?
A: Fast Food.
Q: Why did the horse cross the road?
A: Because somebody shouted hay!
Q: What do you call a scary female horse?
A: A nightmare!
Q: What do you call a well balanced horse?
A: Stable.
Q: What kind of horses go out after dusk?
A: Nightmares!
Q: Why did the horse cross the road?
A: Because it wanted to see its neighbours!
Q: What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse?
A: The ground!
Q: What does it mean if you find a horseshoe?
A: Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.
Q: Why can’t horses dance?
A: They have two left feet.
Q: Why don’t racehorses wear underwear?
A: Because it rides up on them!
Q: Why did the horse eat with its mouth open?
A: Because it had bad stable manners!
Q: How does a cowboy get a stallion to do odd jobs around the farm?
A: Pay him under the stable.
Q: What kind of bread does a horse eat?
A: Thoroughbred
Q: What is black and white and eats like a horse?
A: A zebra.
Q: Who’s a horses favourite football player?
A: Neigh-mar.
Q: When can horses talk?
A: Whinny wants to.
Q: Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude?
A: He always said “Neigh”.
Q: How did the instructor try to make horse riding enjoyable?
A: He tried to stirrup some interest!
Q: How much money did the bronco have?
A: Only a buck!
Q: What do you call a horse that plays the violin?
A: Fiddler on the hoof!
Q: What do you give a sick horse?
A: Cough stirrup.
Q: What goes “Clip”?
A: A one legged horse!
Q: What is horse sense?
A: Stable thinking and the ability to say nay!
Q: Which is a horse’s favourite bear?
A: Whinny the Pooh.
Q: What did the horse say when it fell?
A: “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”
Q: How do you make a small fortune on horse racing?
A: Start with a large fortune.
Q: What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race?
A: Sherbet.
Q: Have you heard the one about the runaway horse?
A: It’s a terrible tale of WHOA!
Q: Why do cowboys like to ride horses?
A: Because they’re too heavy to carry.
Q: What kind of horse travels all around the world?
A: A globe trotter.
Q: How do you hire a horse?
A: Put a brick under each hoof.
Q: What is a horses favorite state?
A: Neighbraska.
Q: Where do you put 2 horses that just broken up?
A: In the pasture
Q: What’s invisible and smells like hay?
A: Horse farts.
Q: Where do horses shop?
A: Old Neigh-vy!
